Age:18 years old Birthdate:March 11,1990Country:PHILIPPINES
Likes:Friends, animé, Sports, Nap time, Cellphone, Music, Sweets. Dislikes:Fiends, babypink!, folk songs? Hobbies:Roleplaying OL, playing badminton, singing out loud, hanging out with friends, watching DVD's, writing fictions,Color Preferences:Black, blue, crimson, darkgreen, silver
Type of Music:PopRock, Rock, Mellow, Alternative, EmoPunk Fave Band(s):Arashi, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, OPM bands, Larc~en~ciel, Asian KungFu Gen, New Found Glory, The Early November, Boys Like Girls, Fave Singer(s):Suara, Utada Hikaru, Nanase Aikawa, (more)Fave Book(s):DaVinci Code, Paulo Coehlo Collections, Taming Sleeping Beauty, Priceless, Nora Robert's Collections, Angels & Demons, BobOng Collections
========================
WARNING. This may not be as good as other blogs are so don't expect too much. Some posts are random. This is not a blood-raising, high-falutic, ero, uncomprehendable ~which no one cannot imagine~ site! So if that is what your hoping this would be. Get out and make your own. Simple as that. Contents are mostly about my POV's. If some words are insulting for you, by all means I didn't do it on purpose. The hell I care. O.o
Also, this is best viewed with INTERNET EXPLORER desu~
Now that I'm done "blabbering", try to appreciate the page and leave a message in the tagboard. Thank you.
A Midnight Thought
To be an Assassin is
what I desire from my hearts core To be a Werewolf is just a dream I
crave once more To slay is a job I would gladly accept To take
revenge is what I truly meant To keep a painful memory is to weave an
intricate web But now I realized I've got to move on From this day
forth...until the next eon
To give trust easily is to make a big
mistake... To forgive one who has wronged you is a great risk to
take.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Quoted from a "stranger"
For a moment you feel as if your holding the whole world
in your hand. No matter the problems, everything is right, because you
know in the end you'll be with the ones you love.
The stability
friends and family give to one's life is an indescribable force. As we
progress through this life we meet many people, each mean different
things to us. Sometimes, there is one who means more than can be
explained by words. Sadly, as long as they are present in your life,
you'll never truly know what it meant to have them by your side. And
once they leave, you'll never truly know again.
Does the pain
end? Does it leave you with a greater sense of purpose? Can you ever
look back and know that you're a better person for the pain that you've
endured?
They say family is the most important group of people
you'll ever have in your life. A family is not formed solely by blood
relations. Blood relations can hate each other. They can use each other
for their own ends. They can be spiteful. A family is is formed by
mutual feelings of closeness and the knowledge of who the other person
is. You may not always like them, but you're always available for them.
In the midst of strife, and arguments, can you continue to be available
for someone who's hurting those around you? Can you smile and pretend
everything is OK so one of your own can spend her last days in
happiness? Can you ever forgive yourself for the small un-truths that
must be told to keep the peace?
Friends are a resource we often
overlook. When the chips are down, they're there to support you, and
help you up. They can be so close as to be as a member of your family.
They can come to mean the world to you. Love forms between you and them.
What happens then when a friend becomes more? What happens when that
more becomes less? What happens when a friend, who both comes to mean
as much to you as family and becomes a loved one, betrays your trust?
As I look at the people in my life, all I see is my reflection in the
mirror. None of us are perfect. None of us has all the answers. We can
be thankful for the relationships, family, and friends that walk beside
us on the path of life. And when we come to the cross-roads, and go our
own ways, we shed a tear for happier times gone by. We continue down
our own path, with the feeling that something is missing.
I don't know if or when that feeling goes away. I don't know if we can get back what all is lost to us.
I see my great grandma facing her life with honor, making no excuse for
her mistakes, being proud of her achievements, and wishing the best for
her family. She's a Godly woman, and she will forever be a hero in my
eyes, a model for how to live life.
I see one of my best
friends facing his life with a gusto. He doesn't know yet where life
will take him. But he does the best he can with what he has. He accepts
responsibility for the actions that put him where he is in life. He has
a hope for the future, and a love for his friends. He will always be a
hero in my eyes, and a model for how to work through my problems.
I see one who meant more to me than anyone else facing her life with
the eyes of a child. New experiences face her everyday. She's growing,
surrounded by good friends, and a supporting family. She's made hard
choices about life, even though she doesn't fully know what she wants
yet. She is doing all she can to come out on top. She will always be a
hero in my eyes, and have a special place in my heart.
As life goes down its road, does the pain of loss ever go away?
Ingeniously, I have come across the vessel of time. I passed on to distant memories, held it tight and kept it.
The past is what makes me what I am today. I hardly surpassed those unbeatable times, but I never gave up and had won the fight. The strenght that I have is given by the people that surrounds my life. They walked together with me in my cycle of complicated eternity.
The present is what I am doing now. Exactly to the point that every move I make now, shapens the things that awaits me.
The future is something not foreseen. An idea is different from the reality that awaits. The output of what I made before, the compilation of dreams, goals, failures and achievements.
Why do you talk like you know me very well? You've told me a lot of your insights, and at some point, maybe you're wrong… maybe you're right…
But I know myself better than anyone… and I know well enough that I will never have 1 definite persona.
Please don't speak to me like as if everything you said so far is right…
As if you know how I feel… As if you really see through me…
Now the question is, do you?
Do you know how it hurts me to contradict the desires I have with the actions I always end up doing?
How I loathe 'regret' and yet, I do things that would definitely make me lament over and over with this despicable feeling?
How hard it is to control this mixed emotions I have all at the same time… feeling it in unison… This loneliness, sadness, pain, suffering, happiness, pleasure, anger, madness, fear, terror, desperation and grief… everything jam-packed, like elements from Pandora's Box coming out, dwells in your mind, thrusting every damn brain cells to compromise...
A behavioral, psychological disorder personalized only for me to experience, to keep.
I only want you to understand these sentiments I have, for you to realize how intricate it is to elucidate myself, to give you a small rationalization as to the reasons behind the way I act ever since… but what did you do? You overly criticized it… you contentedly mock every damn words I tried so hard to collect just to make it explicable, reasonable…
It's not the problems I have that are hard to share… what's 'bothering' me is exactly the thing that is hard to convey…
Today is 23. I day older than 22. I'm more than fucked up and my fever isn't even going down. My Influenza is forming bubbles with its self-producing mucus (okay that did not sound right at all) and my cough is getting more productive.
Stupid medicines for not working!
I'm not really into the mood to be happy. But I do am excited to go and sleepover with my best friend.
Finally the best escape plan to spend christmas WITHOUT them!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Sudden mood swing? The hell. I feel like I want to kill right now. Some bloodshedding, any volunteer?
I don't want to spend my christmas with them *because I hate them SO MUCH!*
I don't want to think about him too much *because I'll cry more and I'll be more prone to danger because my mind would surely float around* [[even though it's obvious I can't do that]]
I don't want to cry *because I promised Sicarius I wont* [[I love you]]
I don't know where to find money *because the part time job I was trying to get in was stupid*
I don't want to get mad *because I'll surely freak out* [[They are tearing me apart Q,Q]]
I don't want to take my medicines *but I have to* [[Stupid viruses!]]
I've been contradicting myself lately. I don't understand exactly why the hell, but everyone's just triggering Callirae to come out.
Aunt Frea still is being histrionic and its driving me nuts. The others are just too busy expecting gifts from me like I'm some kind of a Santa Clause. My oousins are infuriating me to booth with their damned attitude.
EVERYONE IS SO DAMNED FUCKED UP. >_<
I wanna go back to hell right now... I just want to die...
Okai I know it's been months... but what can I do? I DON'T HAVE A FREAKIN' net at home! And it sucks to just think about that. Q.Q Come to think of... it IS MY FAULT. haha hindi kasi ako nag share sa pagbayad. Stupid me! *toinks*
[ do I have to bang my head 10x to realize that I do, am, STUPID ]
Wala lang, I just notice. I've done a lot of stupidity this last few months I haven't posted here. *blush* hindi ako handa para ishare mga yun. HAHAHA *peace nalang*
